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Wednesday, July 30, 2014

ROCK YOUR LIFE:The Destructive Fantasy of Our Lives



By Clive Einstein
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I spend a considerable amount of time writing fantasy novels. That is something I have been the art I am most focused to sharpen and be good at. Of course, I still have a lot to improve and that is my reality.
But sometimes, I do take immense pleasure from my fantasy of being a successful published author, with best-selling title on the back of my book cover and New York Times writes, “The best since George R.R. Martin.”
Fantasy, but fun though.
We are all victims of our respective fantasies. We are too often caught up with our version of fantasies; we are left disappointed and frustrated. We miss out on the wonder of the world because of fantasies.
What normally happens?
Here are SOME of the things that happened.

1. Missed out on new habits because of Fantasies
Do you smoke? If you do, how many sticks a day? If you’re one of the smokers who had tried to quit smoking before, then you must have had imagined countless times how your life would have been much healthier and cheaper if only you had stopped. But you didn’t. I didn’t either.  

I wish I had. I fantasized a lot about a life without smoking, but my fantasy and reality never really worked out.
2. Delayed Reality
Are you round on your stomach and you just wish it’s not there and you have flat stomach instead? How many times have you been telling yourself before to start exercising and sweating, just so you could lose those extra pounds and looking good?
3. The Angry People
We are simply living our dreams. When we look ourselves in the mirror and our bodies don’t look good or the relationship with someone we have been holding crush on for a long time haven’t worked out as well as the ones in our fantasies, we are often left disappointed and frustrated by these lies at the end of the day.

Therefore,
We fail at creating new habits because of fantasies.
We procrastinate because of fantasies.
We get frustrated with other people, with ourselves, because of fantasies.
We miss out on the wonder of the world because of fantasies.




We are all deluded. Do you agree? Most of the time, not all of the time; you can at least take comfort in that and I do not have actual statistics or data to support my point. However, ask yourself: are you…deluded?

Consider these:

·         In the morning, when you wake up and start thinking about what you’re going to do today, your plans aren’t really happening, but are all in your head.
  1.      Could be:
  2.      Cleaning your clothes
  3.      Visit some places you've been planning for a long
       time
  4.      Do your homework
  5.      Call someone important


·         When you fear the failure that might come when you tackle this big work task, and you procrastinate, it’s not failure that’s actually happening but it’s all in your head.  

·         This fear has stopped you from pursuing some of your biggest life dreams. #TrueStory

·         When someone does something that irritates you, this is because they aren’t acting as you think they should, but this “acting how you think they should” is not reality but an ideal you have, in your head. The frustration stems not from their actions but from how their actions differ from your fantasies.

·         When you start out with a new habit (let’s say exercise), you are motivated by a fantasy of what your life will be like when you create the habit… but that’s not real. When the reality of the habit happens, it never matches up with your fantasy. It’s often harder, sloppier. Less idealized. And so you quit.


·         When you move through your home or office, your mind is not on the action of walking and the things around you, but elsewhere. In fantasy.

·         When you eat, you’re not paying attention to the food most of the time. Your mind is somewhere else, in fantasy.


·         When you talk to someone, you aren’t focused on what they’re saying, but thinking of what you’re going to say, or thinking about something else.

So, if some of these feel or seem familiar to you, (be honest) then you are deluded…most of the time. We’re not deluded all the time; some of the time we’re here in the present moment.

Caution: Do you remember the last time you’re feeling really stuck in your life, you feel helpless to do anything about it and eventually, raise the white flag in defeat?

The fantasies take up most of our time, and they are not usually helpful. They cause us to fear, procrastinate, and become angry, disappointed and quit.

Try This Instead:
Let go of the fantasy and pay attention to this actual moment. See it for what it is, not what you’d like it to be. Accept it exactly as it is, shits and all.

Move through the day practicing “walking the paths of reality” as they are.
Just Do It.
Do your work without thinking about the fear of your failure fantasy, what might happen in the future, or how hard this work is going to be…and just do it, in the present moment.

The Present Moment. Your Reality.
Do your new habit (exercise, quit smoking, healthy eating, no gossip) in the present moment, seeing it for what it is, not how it measures up to your fantasy of what it should be. Not how it will be hard in the future. But as it is.  
Differences will Exist.
See other people for what they are, and accept them without judgment. Strangers included. Shits and all.

It’s normal for us to fantasize. I suppose we do it because we are simply being human, wanting something better for our lives. Unless we set our feet on reality, firmly I might add, the fantasy will never happen. This present reality is all we have. Learn and let live.
  


The Destructive Fantasy of Our Lives

By: Clive Einstein on: 4:08 PM

Saturday, May 17, 2014

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7 Honest Lessons We Can Teach Our Little Brothers At School

By Clive Einstein


Have you guys watched The Wonder Years before? I really love the show and must say that it's one of my favorite TV series. 

(If You haven't watched it, you really should! It's such a sweet, and amazing show)

I love The Wonder Years because I can relate to Kevin Arnold so much; the first love, fights with my best friends, exams, look cool in front of my friends and schoolmates, and many more embarrassing moments at school. 

Watching the show many times has given me an idea and inspire me to write this article. Some might disagree but that's what happens with honesty. 

Well then, here they are  the  7 Honest Lessons We Can Teach Your Little Brothers

1. Bullies Are Attention-Seekers
Bullies are usually those  who crave for attention at school. Perhaps they are from a rich family, not necessarily troubled ones. Or they could come from the families that are having a lot of problems at home. 

They intimidate other people to follow their orders and making fun of the weak and quiet kids at school seem to be their favorite hobby. One thing about bullies: they are not cool. 

They think they are superior, cool and popular at school. But they are merely attention-seekers. 

2. Exams Are Not Important
Your teachers will be saying all kind of things at school. If you don't get good grades, you can feel really stupid; especially when your friends get higher marks than you. 

But it's OK to fail. It's not all important to get the highest marks at school. If you've done your best, then don't worry. The best will come to those who work hard, believing in themselves and never stop trying.  
3. Play Sports 
Playing sports is good for you, m'boy! And so we would say. 
But hey, playing sports can make you look cool too and you look bloody attractive when you win something where all the girls will be lining up for you. 

4. Don't Hate Girls
Be the Mystery Man. School is where you discover yourself, after 6 years only seeing your mum and dad. It's time to shine and see the world, m'boy! 

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Don't say you hate girls (normally at your age now, it's common for boys vs girls) because one day, you'll be chasing after them.  

5. Discussion During Exams Is Okay
Ahh, one of the thing that makes school memorable...and torturous too. So we are taught not too look at the answers of others during exams. The penalty for our disobedient would be, well, severe (as the teachers used to warn me). 

But hey, sometimes it's okay to discuss answers. One day, when you're at work, there's no such thing as "working alone" anymore. You need to discuss with your other people to solve something. Didn't people always say, better to start early? 

Just make sure you don't discuss so loudly the teacher can hear you from the front, my brother. 
6. You Can Be Anyone
And don't you let anyone tell you otherwise. Don't let anyone call you stupid and too slow-if you wish to be an Astronomer, a Scientist, Engineer or maybe run your own business, don't ever let anyone tell you it's impossible. Remember these words: You Can Be Anyone


7. Bestfriend Saves Your Life!
Makes as many friends as possible, my little brother. Be kind to everyone. But it's also important to find friends who will stick with you no matter what. Life at school can be very difficult, m'boy. I don't underestimate the overwhelming feelings you get sometimes at school. 

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You would have your big fights with your classmates. 
Or your first rejection from your crush. 
Maybe you've failed your Math test. 

Your bestfriends can help you go through this difficult time. 




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7 Honest Lessons We Can Teach Your Little Brothers

By: Clive Einstein on: 9:30 AM

Friday, May 16, 2014

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5 Penetrating Questions To Ask If You Want To Change For Good

By Clive Einstein


It has been said many times, Ask The Right Questions. To understand ourselves, what we actually want from our lives and where we want to go, it is important we ask the right questions and by asking the right questions, we could get a glimpse of our "true" identity. 

Say you're lost at the moment and you're not sure who you want to be and what you actually want to do with your life, these 5 questions could at least help you to get there.  Sometimes it could take months and years just to figure out what seemingly a very simple question to begin with. 

I guess, that's why people call it "Life's A Journey". It's a journey isn't it? We are always out there in the wilderness, searching for our purpose. But my friends, it's not really the end of the journey we're after; rather, how much we'd grow during the journey. To begin, it's important if we could go through this journey with the right questions. 

Well, here are the 5 Penetrating Questions To Ask If You Want To Change


1. What If Money Wasn't An Issue?
What if Money wasn't an issue? Fantastic wouldn't it? We could buy any car we want, eat anything our hearts desire, wear the most expensive clothes or buy an island for us to spend the rest of our lives? 

Too often, we don't really dream big because we let our minds thinking we don't have the power or the capabilities to achieve them. Donald Trump is one of the successful people that always harp on dreaming and thinking big. 

By thinking anything is possible, you'll discover what you really want

Assignment: What do you really want?

2. What If I Could Be With Anyone In The World?
If you can choose anyone you want to be with in the world, who would that person be? So often, we're thinking we're not good enough for somebody. We're losers. We're not rich enough. We're not good-looking. We're this...we're that. Stop for a moment from that negative thinking and ask yourself this: what if I could be with anyone in the world, who would I spend my time with?

Love Life: What Kind of A Partner Are You Looking For?
Business: What Kind of A Business Partner And Clients Are You Looking For?
Friends: What Kind of Friendship Are You Looking For?

Ask these questions and answer them honestly. 

Assignment: Who would you be with today?

3. If I Could Change Anything, What Would I Change?
As with Question No.1, we're bound by the Ceiling that we've set for ourselves in our minds. Again, remove the ceiling and think everything is possible. 

This 3rd Question is to help you determine what you actually want to do with your life, generally. 

Perhaps you want to stop smoking. 
Or stop lying to your wife. 
Or maybe, end poverty. 

Get a List of the Changes you want to see and think about what you've written. You'll find it much easier to work on them one by one, starting from the first change you seek to see happen. 

Assignment: What Change Would You Bring?

4. If I Can Do Anything I Want, What Would I Do In Life?
Search deep within your heart. What would you do?
This simple exercise can help you to determine what you really want from life, if and only if you're being really honest with yourself.

Would you travel the world? 
Would you propose to the girl you've been going out with?
Would you...(open-ended question)

Assignment: What Would You Do? 

5. If I Could Be Anyone, Who Would I Be?
Perhaps you want to be yourself. Or perhaps you want to be your role-model-Steve Jobs? Bill Gates? Mike Tyson? JK Rowling? Sidney Sheldon? Or Maybe Voldemort?

Whoever it is, your choice gives you the idea of what kind of person you want to be.

Assignment: Who Do You Want To Be? 




You see, this simple exercise can help you see who you really, deep down inside as well as your inner-most desires. We are often bound by our limitations which sometimes don't exist in the first place. We are influenced (heavily influenced I might add)  by other people's failures, we couldn't see what's actually possible for us. 

Complete the Assignments and think about what you've written thoroughly. Before you can spend your energy understanding other people, first you should start with yourself. I'm doing this at the moment and the exercise has been really helpful. Good luck to you too. 



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5 Penetrating Questions To Ask If You Want To Change

By: Clive Einstein on: 9:30 AM

Thursday, May 15, 2014

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10 Reasons Why You Must Learn Martial Arts

By Clive Einstein

I'm a Martial Art enthusiast. I've been learning this Art since I was 7 years old. At first, I joined it because it looked cool and I wanted to spar with other kids during the self-defense classes. You know, being a naive child, I thought by learning Martial Arts I could be more intimidating in front of the other kids.

Little did I know that once the classes started, there was not many sparring sessions held by my Masters. There were more repetitive punches and kicks than sparring and I remember I wanted to quit right there and then.

But by the time I had turned 10, my classmate invited me to join his Karate' class instead. I was quite reluctant at first but my friend was being very persistent. Eventually, I agreed and ergo, the beginning of my Martial Arts Journey.

As I grow older, my Sensei's words began to make much more sense. I still practice on my own these days and never let go of those golden words that he repeatedly said to me. I'll include those Golden Words in this List.

Here are 10 Reasons Why You Must Learn Martial Arts: 
1. You Panic...Less
You're trained throughout your Martial Art classes to expect the unexpected. There might be dangers lurking in the dark alley you're using to go back home from work. Or someone is being hit at the table next to you at the restaurant. Or maybe someone put a knife across your throat. A lot of possible confrontations with danger  and so often victims got themselves into vulnerable positions by being panic. 

Martial Arts help you to prepare your mind for something like this. You might not win your opponent but the most important part is to remain calm even when the people around you are not. 
2. Confident You! 
Martial Art has taught me to be more aware of my own abilities. Even when the other guy is twice my size, I know how size actually doesn't matter that much. 

This is part of our mental training. A battle is lost even before we enter the battlefield if we think we'd lose. That's an important part of life to keep in our minds: What we think will become our reality.


3. Physically And Mentally Trained
During Martial Arts classes, we're not only trained physically but mentally as well. Physically, we're trained on our flexibility and getting hit so we're not easily beaten during a fight. 

On the hand, Mental training is for you to control your urges to fight, not panic when you're cornered and don't be quick to judge your opponent by how they look. 
4. You're Less Of A Bully
During my Martial Art classes, one of the most important things that we have to remember is Martial Art is not for you to bully those weaker than you. On the contrary, it is to defend and help the weak. 

My favorite advice is this: 
"Even if you know you can beat them, run away. Don't fight. Call the police. Call for help."


5. Respect
One of the things that I'm seeing happening very fast among our young generation of today is lack of self-respect among the youngsters toward the people older than them. 

This is one of the things that my Sensei was very strict on. Perhaps the Karate-Do and Taekwando classes I took come from Japan and Korea where Respect is part of their cultures, but even if you're not learning both these Arts, you'll develop a sense of respect toward the people around you. 

Sometimes, the weakest man in the room is the strongest. He may seem weak but only because he doesn't show it. It's the same principle when you're in the ring for a fight. You never ever underestimate your opponent with how they look.   
6. Self-Control
There are times when we find it difficult to control our temper and the urge to get into a fist-fight. I like the movie: "3 Ninjas" to highlight this particular point. 

In fact, come to think of it; the movie is the best example to explain what I mean for all 10 Reasons. Self-control is the ability you get when you're able to calm yourself and not allowing anger to consume you. That's what self-control is. 


7. Life Skills
Well, that's my grandmother-she could be very blunt with the her words sometimes. But it's true, isn't it? One day, everyone we know including us, would be gone. 

Of course, this is pretty obvious. However, I just have to start off these Lessons by being Captain Obvious.  
8. Take The Hits!
For this one, I'll let this video of Rocky Balboa to speak about it because he said it the best. 




9. Discipline And Focus
You need to practice on your kicks, blocks, stretches, punches and jumps. You work on your ability to face more hits during a match and you learn to study your opponent's weaknesses. 

All of these require discipline and focus. You know what you're capable and without discipline and focus, you won't get anywhere by whining and complaining about it. 
10. And Of Course, Self-Defense
This is of course, why it is sometimes called Martial Arts/ Self-Defense. Self-defense training is not for you to be a bully or intimidate other people. It is about your ability to defend yourself in times of danger or to protect people you love. It is because of this, why you should and must learn Martial Arts. 


There's also another thing I'd like to add: Learning any form of Martial Arts doesn't mean you'll win every fight-even when you're good. The world is full of surprises. I'm not one to compare whether Karate-Do is better than Taekwando or MMA or Muay Tai. It can be in any form but unless you understand clearly the reason why you're learning this in the first place, then it wouldn't do you any good. 


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10 Reasons Why You Must Learn Martial Arts

By: Clive Einstein on: 9:30 AM

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

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10 Simple Life Lessons From My Late Grandmother

 
By Clive Einstein

I was very close with my late Grandmother who passed away Two Years Ago, in the sweet Valentine month of February, 2012. She was a dear sweetheart to me, who had taught me many valuable life lessons that I'd bring with me wherever I go. 
That's why, I've decided to share some of these Valuable Lessons with all of you. Here are The 10 Simple Life Lessons From My Late Grandmother:
1. We're All Going To Be Dead Eventually
Well, that's my grandmother-she could be very blunt with the her words sometimes. But it's true, isn't it? One day, everyone we know including us, would be gone. 

Of course, this is pretty obvious. However, I just have to start off these Lessons by being Captain Obvious.  
2. Family Comes First
Something my grandmother always reminded me while she was still alive. Family should always comes first. No matter how many great friends we've made, family should come first because family stick with you no matter what happens. 
3. Choose Your Wife Carefully
My grandmother always told me to choose someone for a wife who knows her ways in the kitchen. She was a very strong traditionalist and she really believed the candidate for a wife should be respectful of the elders, knows the Kitchen and can look after the husband well. 
4. Wake Up Early In The Morning
She was very strict with me whenever I spent a few my holiday at the village. She expected me to get out of bed as early as 6 in the morning. 

Her words are still ringing in my ears: (Rephrased version: The Early Bird Gets The Worm)
5. Loving God Is Important
I grew up in a family that practices Christianity. My Grandmother always reminded me that I should always believe in God and trusting His judgement. 

Indeed, with all the moral issues that we are facing today, maybe it's time for us to remember God again in our lives. 
6. Respect The Elders
Respecting the Elders was another of my grandmother's favorite advice. Things such as "Don't interrupt when the adults are talking", and "Don't raise your voice when talking to your parents" are some of the things that are covered for this advice. 
7. Remember Where You Come From
She used to tell me, wherever I go, no matter how far from home I am, I should never (never) forget where I come from. I should always protect my identity and I should protect it. 
8. Look After Your Health
By the time she entered her sixties, she became sick because of her excessive smoking during her younger days. She regretted it and she always told me I should look after my health now that I am still young. 
9. Eat While You Still Have The Appetite
She loved to cook, my grandmother. But she couldn't eat that well as she grew older. She had lost her appetite. That was the reason why she kept on reminding me to eat as much as I can (healthily and not by being reckless) while I still have the appetite now. 

10. Work Hard And Start Early
She believed in hard work to achieve what we want in life. Nothing will ever fall on your lap by itself, she used to say. "Combine working hard and rising up early in the morning, that's the key to success", according to my grandmother. 


Of all the 10 Lessons, I'm still finding the 4th Lesson to be the hardest. Perhaps I need a crying baby to help me (ekhem). 


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10 Simple Life Lessons From My Late Grandmother

By: Clive Einstein on: 9:30 AM

 

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