ROCK YOUR LIFE:The Destructive Fantasy of Our Lives
I spend a considerable amount of time writing fantasy novels. That is something I have been the art I am most focused to sharpen and be good at. Of course, I still have a lot to improve and that is my reality.
But sometimes, I do take immense pleasure from my fantasy of being a successful published author, with best-selling title on the back of my book cover and New York Times writes, “The best since George R.R. Martin.”
Fantasy, but fun though.
We are all victims of our respective fantasies. We are too often caught up with our version of fantasies; we are left disappointed and frustrated. We miss out on the wonder of the world because of fantasies.
What normally happens?
Here are SOME of the things that happened.
1. Missed out on new habits because of Fantasies
Do you smoke? If you do, how many sticks a day? If you’re one of the smokers who had tried to quit smoking before, then you must have had imagined countless times how your life would have been much healthier and cheaper if only you had stopped. But you didn’t. I didn’t either.
I wish I had. I fantasized a lot about a life without smoking, but my fantasy and reality never really worked out.
2. Delayed Reality
Are you round on your stomach and you just wish it’s not there and you have flat stomach instead? How many times have you been telling yourself before to start exercising and sweating, just so you could lose those extra pounds and looking good?
3. The Angry People
We are simply living our dreams. When we look ourselves in the mirror and our bodies don’t look good or the relationship with someone we have been holding crush on for a long time haven’t worked out as well as the ones in our fantasies, we are often left disappointed and frustrated by these lies at the end of the day.
We fail at creating new habits because of fantasies.
We procrastinate because of fantasies.
We get frustrated with other people, with ourselves, because of fantasies.
We miss out on the wonder of the world because of fantasies.
We are all deluded. Do you agree? Most of the time, not all of the time; you can at least take comfort in that and I do not have actual statistics or data to support my point. However, ask yourself: are you…deluded?
· In the morning, when you wake up and start thinking about what you’re going to do today, your plans aren’t really happening, but are all in your head.
- Could be:
- Cleaning your clothes
- Visit some places you've been
planning for a long
- Do your homework
- Call someone important
· When you fear the failure that might come when you tackle this big work task, and you procrastinate, it’s not failure that’s actually happening but it’s all in your head.
· This fear has stopped you from pursuing some of your biggest life dreams. #TrueStory
· When someone does something that irritates you, this is because they aren’t acting as you think they should, but this “acting how you think they should” is not reality but an ideal you have, in your head. The frustration stems not from their actions but from how their actions differ from your fantasies.
· When you start out with a new habit (let’s say exercise), you are motivated by a fantasy of what your life will be like when you create the habit… but that’s not real. When the reality of the habit happens, it never matches up with your fantasy. It’s often harder, sloppier. Less idealized. And so you quit.
· When you move through your home or office, your mind is not on the action of walking and the things around you, but elsewhere. In fantasy.
· When you eat, you’re not paying attention to the food most of the time. Your mind is somewhere else, in fantasy.
· When you talk to someone, you aren’t focused on what they’re saying, but thinking of what you’re going to say, or thinking about something else.
So, if some of these feel or seem familiar to you, (be honest) then you are deluded…most of the time. We’re not deluded all the time; some of the time we’re here in the present moment.
Caution: Do you remember the last time you’re feeling really stuck in your life, you feel helpless to do anything about it and eventually, raise the white flag in defeat?
The fantasies take up most of our time, and they are not usually helpful. They cause us to fear, procrastinate, and become angry, disappointed and quit.
Try This Instead:
Let go of the fantasy and pay attention to this actual moment. See it for what it is, not what you’d like it to be. Accept it exactly as it is, shits and all.
Move through the day practicing “walking the paths of reality” as they are.
Just Do It.
Do your work without thinking about the fear of your failure fantasy, what might happen in the future, or how hard this work is going to be…and just do it, in the present moment.
The Present Moment. Your Reality.
Do your new habit (exercise, quit smoking, healthy eating, no gossip) in the present moment, seeing it for what it is, not how it measures up to your fantasy of what it should be. Not how it will be hard in the future. But as it is.
Differences will Exist.
See other people for what they are, and accept them without judgment. Strangers included. Shits and all.
It’s normal for us to fantasize. I suppose we do it because we are simply being human, wanting something better for our lives. Unless we set our feet on reality, firmly I might add, the fantasy will never happen. This present reality is all we have. Learn and let live.