Wednesday, December 17, 2014

What WIll Carry You On And Drag You Further


 AN IMPORTANT 
recipe

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” 




On one cold night, Jamie was suddenly woken by the sound of screaming from the house across the street. He rubbed his eyes and got out of bed, and peered out of the window, out of curiosity. He was horrified when he saw Danny's house, his neighbor, was on fire. Jamie immediately rushed to his parents' room and told them what was happening.  

Two hours later, the firemen had successfully put out the fire, leaving only skeletons of Danny's home of what the house had once been. The others in the neighborhood gathered in front of the house. Jamie was one of them and he could see Danny lying unconscious next to his mother on the ground. Jamie wanted to go and check him out, but he thought perhaps the time was not right yet. Danny's mother was beside him and she looked miserable and exhausted, her face ashen. Jamie was told by some of the neighbors, despite the high flame, Danny's mother had braved the fire with a heavy blanket wrapped around her and ran into the house to save her son, Danny. A week later, the story hit the newspaper : apparently, a journalist from a local newspaper had written about all about it and the story had captured a lot of hearts, including Jamie.

That night, during the fire, Danny's mother was prepared to do anything to save her son and that had carried her on and dragged her further, even in the face of danger. 


To start with the heroic tale of Danny's mother is a great way, at least I think it is, to write for you on what will carry you on and drag you further, when all else seem fucked. A lot of you have stories of hardship, I believe. Some might prevail and benefit from those low-point moments in their lives while others fall down and feel pointless to carry on forward. It's all in your hands.

I'm not blaming you if you fail either. But a piece of advice that I have received many years before that still work well for me today, that makes me want to keep on working on my dreams, that makes all the other successful people around the world to keep on believing what they are doing, even when it feels pointless to do it anymore:  

my DREAMS. (your dreams.)

It's not a secret. What keeps a lot of people continue to work hard on their dreams all the time? It will be their dreams. As simple as it sounds, it can be a really strong source of motivation, the light in the dark tunnel. During a time when they are afraid (even the bravest man is afraid of something), a time when they can't sleep at night, a time when they can't eat because they don't have enough money to pay for the food, a time when their parents and closest friends are dissapointed and embarrased by their failures, during a time when they feel really lonely in their journeys, it's their dreams that keep them going. Something that they are willing to do whatever it takes to achieve. Something that they don't mind wrapping the thick blanket around them and brave the high flames.

Just as a mother would do whatever it takes to save her son, you would naturally do the same thing to save something you care most about. That is why you have to be really clear about what you want from your life. What you decide to pursue, no matter what it takes and how long it takes, will literally save your life. Look at the list of the things you want most in life at the moment: and take a look three or four more times and think; are most of the things in your list something you really want? 

Say you want to own a Ferrari one day: will the thought, it's for the Ferrari, it's for the Ferrari, it's for the Ferrari, will save you from giving up later on? If you don't think so, then that's not really a strong motivation, isn't it? It has got to be something that is really clear in your head, something that motivates and inspires you, something that can help you stand in the storms, something that you would not compromise. It is your lifeline. 

On your way to your dreams, you can take a side-road someday, stop at the shop to rest for a moment, and then go to the toilet to let some things go but after a while, you're back on the road again towards what you have set out to do and achieve. If what you have chosen isn't strong enough, big chances are, once you stop at the shop to rest, you'll be resting and take the car to drive back home or else where that you think might be easier and less hassle, not forgetting requires less hard work and commitment. 

BIG OR SMALL, IT DOESN'T MATTER

Yes, I've come to realize that this is one of the greatest truths in my life. It shouldn't matter whether you dreams are big or small, what matters: are yours strong enough to matter?


I start this article with the story of Jamie and how he had found out Danny's mother had saved her son in the fire because I wanted to put it in the simplest form as possible for you to identify what is it that you're willing to do almost absolutely anything to save, even in the face of danger? 



If you are able to identify your strongest dreams, you will almost never falter in your pursuit, even when the odds are against you, even when everyone doubts you, even when everything seems pointless, even when you somehow stop believing in yourself.



Footnote: 

1. I dream of helping my family, to help my parents "breathe" easier and to provide a better life for my children than I am living through at the moment. 
2. The story of Jamie and the heroic tale of Danny's mother, is purely fictional. It is merely a pigment of my imagination. 
3. Photo credit to: Dumblittleman

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Saturday, December 13, 2014

Why Do I Defy Pop Culture And Choose Virginity

THE INSATIABLE
L U S T




It is sad and rather shocking that if someone who is still a virgin after 18 is a joke and a crowd favorite to be teased. The manifestation of pop culture that originated mostly from Western countries through movies, music and magazines had somehow changed the way we see virgins in our lives. 

It should not be dismissed. The popular manifestation of relationship between two people as romantic love had been borne out of romantic movies such as Titanic, Notebook, Romeo and Juliet, American Pie, The Fault in our stars et cetera et cetera. It is shocking how we are so willingly adopting this as part of our culture today. As a declaration of our love to our partner we chase the perfect date where we close the deal by having sexual intercourse with our dates.   
image source
I was not born in a strong, religious family but my parents had done their best to impart the best advice they could give to their children. I had grown up, looking at marriage as a sacred symbol to mark the beginning of a beautiful journey between two souls. Then, if so, shouldn't we break the virginity with someone whom we love with all our hearts?
I have been teased many times by my friends because I still have not touched a woman's breast nor taste the touch of lips on my neck. The images of sex in my head are projected based on the movies I have watched before. As a ten year old, that year in 1997 was the year Titanic had hit the cinema and most of my schoolmates were discussing about Rose's shape of breast and how Jack made love to her later on in the movie. 
By eighteen and upward, a lot of my friends who are not married yet, have engaged in sexual intercourse and they are proud of what they had achieved. Bear in mind that they come from very strong religious families too. But isn't it weird that while we are taught against making love before we are declared as man and wife, we are somehow comfortable with the idea of doing it every now and then without a slight pang of guilt? And to a certain extent, different partner week in week out? Perhaps the effect of pop culture in our society today has successfully prompted couples around the world to declare their love to one another by having sexual intercourse. The idea of romantic love is to shower them with love by breaking the sacred oath and throw away the virginity for the sake of our insatiable lust for one another. (and this is a definition that I had derived on my own. For the record, this is my interpretation.)

WHY DO I STAY WITH MY DECISION?


I choose to defy pop culture and choose virginity instead because I do not want my children to follow my footsteps that I set for them today. I believe in the sacred bond between man and wife, and for these two reasons I strongly believe waiting for the right time with the right person is the best decision.

The pull of sex in our lives today cannot be stronger because of the portrayal of having sex before marriage or even with another man's wife is OK. This is derived from the successful marketing effort by blockbuster movie in promoting the idea.

If you have read this blog enough, you will know that I have been aggressively promoting the idea of being oblivious to what other people think of me. Be strong in your idea of the ideal character that you would like to uphold. Don't lose faith in your principles and no matter what others may say or think of you, it will be great for you on the long term for you have been able to stick with what you believe. 

That is why I defy pop culture and choose virginity instead. Not until I am formally declared as a husband to a woman whom I love, a woman whom I call as my wife and the mother of my children.   
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Wednesday, December 10, 2014

How To Be A Hero And Save Those You Love

BE THE
CHANGE
YOU WANT TO SEE

“Great heroes need great sorrows and burdens, or half their greatness goes unnoticed. It is all part of the fairy tale.” 
― Peter S. BeagleThe Last Unicorn

For the past decade, we have been entertained by Superhero movies and not surprising that most of the superhero movies were big hit with the audience. Watching these superheroes in action make us envy their lives; possessing superpowers that we can only dream of and saving the people they love.  

But today, I'll say: You can be a hero and help as well as save those you love and care most in the world. By looking at your works as a heroic vocation rather than forced is a great way to improve your productivity. Whether you are an entrepreneur or someone who has to go to work from morning 'till late at night, if you think about it, you are not doing this only for yourself. No matter if you have children or you are alone in the world, there are lives depending on you today. 
 If you're a dad who's just had a newborn baby to add to your current collection (excuse me) of five children at home, their lives depend on you. In their eyes, you are the hero that they look up to. Without you, they cannot survive on their own in this world. You protect them with all your heart because you love them and they are the ones that matter to you. 
image source
What if I'm alone, no family of my own, no kids at home, an orphan; what then?
Well, who's going to look after yourself when you grow old and grey? Your future depends on what you are doing now. You are the hero of your own destiny. What you do today, with the time and the youth that you are still privileged with, those two are your most important ingredients today to be your own hero. 
Our lives are filled with everyday heroes, if only we will ourselves to open our eyes and look around. You see people who (perhaps) hate their jobs but because of the mouths at home to feed, they gather all the strength they have to go to work. It does not matter how painful it is for them, but for their love towards their loved ones at home, they go through the tribulation and the sufferings that come along with their jobs. 
image source
Your are their heroes who have the strong desire to protect those you love, even when you are worried sick what might happen when the bank comes in tomorrow to take your house away because you fail to pay the mortgage, or when you don't have much money to pay for your own food but you still give the last cents that you have in your pocket to buy food for them who have not eaten decent food for the past few days, or when you know you will be late for that important meeting with your boss because you have to help the blind man cross the busy street filled with fast-moving cars; these are some of the examples of the acts of our everyday heroes. 

These heroes are not shown on the cinema, nor do they bring in millions in revenue for the film producers, but these are the people that are living around us. They are real people who day-in and day-out performing their heroic duties. 
Still the question, How to be a hero and save those you love?
Then, try to break away completely from the selfishness that you may have now or have had in the past and start thinking about others, those people who depend on you.
image source
EVERYONE NEEDS A HERO AND EVERYONE IS A HERO
Maybe you are afraid now. All the problems that are haunting you at the moment don't seem to go away any time soon. When you go back home and go to sleep at night, where you don't have to impress anyone, you cry alone in bed, afraid of the future. You feel alone. You feel useless and hopeless. 
But life has its way of helping us out: Always believing in that and a hero will come along soon enough. Even superheroes need help. While some other days you may sacrifice your time, energy and what other form of sacrifices that you are willing to make to help others, there will come a time when other heroes coming to you to lend a helping hand. It is the circle of life. It is the life of heroes.
Good luck, my heroes. 
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Saturday, December 6, 2014

The Dark Room And All You Need Is Light


LIGHT
IT UP

“Look at how a single candle can both defy and define the darkness.” 
― Anne Frank

Everyone will have to go through this moment in their lives: The Dark Room. It is a place that we hate and curse. It is a place where some people had committed suicides. And it is a place that I feel, is something most of you will be able to relate to, whether you are an entrepreneur, a teacher at school, a student who's going to sit for your major exam soon, or a parent to a young child at home. 

It is for all of you who find yourself in the darkness, in a place where you think there is no more hope, during a time when you have started to lose your faith and belief. It is a difficult place to be and if we somehow let the Dark Room control us, it is a very lonely place to be indeed... 


My friends, here is something you already know: Everyone will be knocked down from their comfort zone every now and then. That is simply the cycle of life. Some may react to these situations well, while some just accept their fates and do nothing about it. 


What I do hope, through this sharing today, is to help open your eyes and see how the Early Days of Struggle is a place where you could learn how to cope with change
Life is all about change and as we are going through these inevitable changes, there will always (always) be ups and downs. And when everything does not feel right, and you are afraid of the future, of the darkness, of your own shadow; when you can't sleep well at night, when you are crying on your own in the closet, when you are considering to give up as you grow frustrated by your fate, this is what I hope you would do
1. Take a step back and breathe
2. And change the way you

THINK.

All those examples that I am using here, I had been there. It is an unpleasant place and I used to believe my time in the Dark Room would never end. Time moved very slowly in there and I hated myself for all those failures. 
My friends, I don't know what you are currently going through at the moment or what you have gone through. I don't know the magnitude of your problems. I don't know how long you have been there or how long you are going to be there. But what I know is this: you and I would stay in that dark room of life if we let ourselves to think that way. You and I would never move forward in life if we simply give up on ourselves and if you and I refuse to see the possibilities beyond that darkness.
From that failures and darkness that I had to endure and go through, that was my point in life when I had discovered the power of positive thinking. It sounds cliché, yes, but it is cliché simply because it is true and it is indeed powerful. What you think will determine the way you look at life as a whole. 
If you see it as a place of limited opportunities, then you might be right. If you see it as a place that sides only with a selected group of the population, then you might be right. If you see it as a place that is going to pin you down and torture you until you cannot take it anymore, then you might be right also! 
But if you choose to see life as a place of unlimited opportunities, as a place that rewards those who work really hard to make their own luck, as a place of learning, as a place of friendship, as a place of love, as a place of hope, then you are right too! 
Here is what I know: you are what you think. A lot of motivational speakers had spoken about the powerful effect of positive thinking in their conferences and books and audio tapes and videos, only because this is one of the most obvious truths!
What you have to know is, everyone at some points of their lives will go through hardships. In fact, I am going through hardships now but I am coping well with my time in the Dark Room these days because I am not going to let it control me. I make the choice to think positively despite the unfortunate turn of events in my life. I choose to see this as a place for me to learn more about me and what I could do. Just as in the place I had survived the dark room of life through positive thinking, this time is no different. 
If you are looking for a specific solution to your problems here, I am sorry to disappoint you; that is not my intention. Instead, I wish to impart to you with something much more powerful: Something that you can take with you as you live your life. Something that can accompany you when you are going through tough moments of your life again. Something that you can use to improve your chance of survival.
Here are the BASIC THREE STEPS that I had used effectively before (even now): 
1. Think Positively (I can't stress that enough)
2. Don't look at your problems all at once, but look at them one by one, to a manageable piece. This way, you are less overwhelmed by what you are going through. 
3.   Learn. When you have gone through your time in the Dark Room, learn from your experience. Failures are inevitable and they will come knocking on your door again before long. But if you are able to learn from your past failures before, it will be a much easier ride during the next ride.
And Remember,
No one can save you. Not your friends, parents or a psychiatrist. No one would be able to save you if you refuse to be saved. If you choose to think negatively, if you choose to see how limited life is, how unfair God is, how fucked up life is. You will never get out of your dark room if you refuse to change the way you think! 
Don't succumb to self-pity either. It will not take you anywhere. Tell yourself that by succumbing to self-pity means you are weak. It shows that you're refusing to fight for your life. It shows that you're defeated. Keep on telling yourself instead, you are strong, you will fight back and you will not bow down to these pressures without a fight. 
So what is it going to be? The Room is dark? Then, all you need is light

Footnote:
Image source: Favim
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Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Free Better Days E-Book

THE 
BETTER
DAYS
E-BOOK



“If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.” 
― Mother Teresa


I have written a little book for all of you and I really do hope you find it helpful. It's not long, probably only an hour or two for you to finish reading it. In the spirit of Better Days, I do hope you will read it and share the e-book with your friends. 

I would like to state that my works are uncopyrighted and you may share it with your friends and family as you see fit. I only hope you can spread a good-feel message to the people around you, so we could all come together and see more of life's beauties. 

Please help yourself by downloading the e-book. You can go to my E-Book page or you can simply click here. 


I'm coming up with more free e-book for your reading and hopefully, you and I can learn from each other. If you have any inquiries about the books, feel free to email me. I'm looking forward to hear from you. 

Don't wait too long. Get the Book.  
What is the Book About?

"The Book basically represents everything in this blog that I wish to impart to all of my readers. This Book is a book of simple wisdom derived from my (seemingly) complex little life. It is a simple guide as well as a book of ideas for you to lead your life and start living the Better Days.

Better Days are not tomorrow or in the distant future where you are retired and finally freed from most of the responsibilities of life. It is here, and now. Better Days are...here."

Again, I'd like to thank all of you for your support and I promise to write again for you soon. 
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Saturday, November 29, 2014

Whom Do You Represent And Why Is It Important


MIRROR 
mirror


“I've always been very confident in my immaturity.” 


He's coming, he's coming. That son of a bitch. He's slept with my friend's wife, did you know that? Does this type of conversation sounds familiar to you? I'm pretty sure it does. Look at the people around you (that you hang out with) including your family, you will see there are a lot of characters. Some are plastered with the word "liars", "unfaithful", "stingy", "honest", "innocent" et cetera et cetera plastered on their foreheads. Reputations spread like wildfire and that is exactly what the questions really means: Whom do you represent in your life? 

Your reputation is closely related to your actions in life. I I have learned this lesson the hard way and even up 'till today, to clean up the mess that I have caused before is a lot of work, takes a lot of sacrifice and even with a thousand apology, I could not take back the trust that had been lost. It is painful to walk around with the labels plastered on my forehead "failures", "giving up", "cheater", "no integrity", "arrogant", "big mouth" et cetera.

image source

Reputation is not everything. Yes, it is not everything. But it does matter if you are living among people. If you want to do business with someone, building a good rapport is important and it is much easier to develop the relationship by having a good label on your forehead. Words of mouth. Reputations on Google search.

Building good reputation take years of hard work. And it can be destroyed in seconds. If you have somehow besmirched your name in the past, you can run and hide away at a distant place; but without a determination and strong commitment to change your character for the better, the same thing will happen again...only a matter of time.

it's not too late.


No, it isn't. Whatever you have done before, there is still time to correct what is wrong. So long as you can breathe, there is still time to change for the better and be the person you want to represent.

Do you want to represent a person who is dishonest, take and give bribery, all-talk-and-no-action-person or irresponsible? Or do you want to represent a person who is responsible, filled with integrity, trustworthy, does not believe in corruption and righteous?

The type of person you wish to pursue will affect your luck in whatever you decide to do with your life. If you take bribe today and engage in corruption while you are doing your business, today and tomorrow you may be able to bring in money. But who knows what will happen in the future? Even if you are not caught for the rest of your lifetime and you have been able to hide your illegal activities, do you want to live a life where you are scared of your own shadow?

The characters that we want to portray in our lives can affect our decision-making and the consequences of our decisions. If it is a bad habit that is causing you to (subconsciously) pursue a darker character, take some time and slowly filter the poison away. It takes real dedication to work on your characters.

Build a strong foundation on the person whom you want to represent. There will be times when we are slandered or we might go astray a little, and the person that we represent might be affected for a time; however, if the foundation is strong, others will see slowly see through us. Who we are and what as well as whom we represent.

How do you build a good foundation for your character?

By living the character even when no one is looking at you. Let me share a story: I was in a shopping mall car park once and I had lost my parking ticket. Crap. I knew I had to pay much, much more now for what was supposedly a cheap ticket. I went to one of the security guards on duty and I told him what happened. He looked at me and then, at my car. He looked around and there was no one. After that, he told me to follow him to a corner at the car park and said, if you pay this much (which was a lot cheaper) you can go. There's no need to pay this much.

I'm not trying to tell you that I am this righteous dude who exaggerates every little thing. I mean it well when I don't believe in bribery. I refused the guard's offer and paid in full instead. I strongly believe bribery (and corruption) is the biggest cause that stops third-world countries to move forward and be on par with the rest of the first-world. If I engage bribery, even for a tiny case like a lost parking ticket at a shopping mall, there is a possibility that it will be extended to a bigger case that involves millions.

The person whom we choose to represent in our lives is very important. If you choose a person of integrity, no matter what you do in business and how long it takes for you to be successful, sooner or later, you will find success. But if you choose to be dishonest, lying to worm your way out of every problem and kept on looking for the easiest way out through illegal means, then there will be a time when every deed that you had done in the past will come into light. I am not a Buddhist but I, somehow, believe in Karma.

What goes around comes around... 
Choose wisely whom you want to represent in your life.

it matters.


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Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Life's A Bitch And How To Handle It

NEVER TOO
L A T E
“I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.” 
― Augusten BurroughsMagical Thinking: True Stories

Some days you are on top of the world; you seem to have the Midas touch and everything you do seem to bear fruits. You think there is nothing you cannot do out there in the wild wild world. Some other days (most days for some) you feel and think you are the most unfortunate person on this planet. You despise those people who seem to be enjoying their lives. You could be broke, or sick, or heartbroken. Life's a bitch, isn't it?  

Well, on the flip side, life being a bitch is what fueling millions of idea out there that inspire great works in bookstores, Hollywood, concerts and the clothes you wear to your high school dance. 
image source
I'm sure you've heard (OK, I assume) that life's like a wheel. And the whole mechanics with a rolling wheel is there will be ups and downs. All of us would love to be on top all the time, yes? We prefer to be happy than sad, that is why we love doing anything that would help us to be happy; watching our favorite movies, hanging out with our friends, playing a sport that we love; all sorts of things. But unfortunately, that's not how life works, see? 
The Wheel is turning...
1.You're broke: you don't have enough money to pay your bills and the bank keep on calling to ask for your car and house payment. You can't sleep at night, worrying sick about what might happen tomorrow. For a moment there, you are never getting out of this grave.
2. Then, you have somehow found a way to pay the bills. And when you drive to work, all of sudden, the sky's bright with hope and you're slowly back to your feet, up and running. When you've reached your office, your boss smiles at you and compliment you for your good work last month. 
3. Then, you meet a girl in the cafeteria. You can't take your eyes off her. So you ask help from your friend who knows her for her number (or) you walk to her table and start a conversation. And now that you're having a crush on her, the wheel starts rolling again (although do keep in mind the wheel is constantly rolling). There are going to be mixed signals; the standard routine of courting. 
(And the wheel keeps on rolling...)
But, can you identify the pattern yet? There is a time limit (and how long you are stuck on either one depends on you) and you should always keep this in mind. While you're at your lowest point in life, you (and I) can easily be overwhelmed by depression. You have the mixed feeling of depression, disappointment, aggression and there is a possibility you might be thinking of isolation, losing interest from what you used to love doing before. There are doctors that can help you to remedy the mental aspect, but I on the other hand am writing this from the bitter experience that I had gone through. 
image source
It hurts, you know? The scar that the series of downtime had done to me was never really healed, but in my future attempts it proves to be really useful. The wound has helped me to deal with the failures much better and I am stronger than I was before simply because I have decided to learn from the past; so can you. 
Therefore, it is important that you keep a positive mind. Don't let the negativity control you. Some experts can go on for hours talking about the power of positive thinking and I believe them. Positive thinking can really make a huge difference to your lifestyle when everything seems to go wrong. 
Hold on there. Hold on and soon enough, you'll be on your way up again. Overtime though, once you have toughen up enough you'll stay on top much longer than before. If, however, you are letting the negativity control you then your time at the bottom will be extended. It's your decision and I'm sure you'll find your way soon enough.  
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